10 WAYS TO KNOW YOU’RE NOT YET OVER YOUR EX

10. You run away
Are you avoiding your ex at all cost? Does hearing your ex’s name gives you a kick? Are you drowning yourself in alcohol, jumping from one club to another pretending to be having fun as a way of moving on? You haven’t truly moved on until you can look back at your past and your past doesn’t move you. You should bump into your ex in the streets and feel nothing- say hi and move on with your life instead of reminiscing. Running away is a sign of denial.

619. You compare your new lover with your ex
Do you find yourself measuring your current lover with your ex? Those are clear signs of you missing your past. Move on or go back, make up your mind.

sweerie don't look behind, but i think they are talking about us8. You become a stalker
A private eye you have become. Obsessed with tracking your ex’s movements, what your ex posts on Facebook and social media, questioning if your ex is happy without you?

john wesley7. You keep recalling the past
Do you find yourself going through the old messages your ex sent you? Staring at your old pictures together? You still have that box safely hidden with the special gifts your ex gave you? Do you find yourself fighting the desire to pick up the phone to call your ex? Wondering how you two would have been if you remained a couple?

39

6. You are jealous
Do you feel a bad taste in your mouth when you see or hear your ex with someone? Do you compare your ex’s current lover with yourself, of course saying how pathetic your ex’s new lover is unlike you? Are you planning on destroying your ex’s new relationship?

she's missing her king5. You bad mouth your ex
Some will do everything to ruin the reputation of their ex. They will unveil all the ex’s dirty secrets to the world, make up false stories, exaggerate the ex’s flaw to ruin the ex’s reputation before the public. These are the type who will post private photos and videos of the ex online. You have not moved on if you have not forgiven.

inspekat mwala

4. You move on too quickly
Some will jump into a new relationship, get married quickly, use a new lover as a desperate attempt to forget their ex. They will force themselves on someone new, force love. Rushing because they want to go into a new relationship before the ex does too; thinking that it will be tragic to remain single yet the ex finds someone new, gets married and starts a family. In the end, they hurt, their victim of a lover hurts and their forced relationship sucks. Do you find yourself wanting to show your ex how happy you are without him/ her? Go into a new relationship because you are truly in love, not to get back at your ex or to bandage your true suppressed feelings. That is unfair to your new lover. Give yourself time to heal.

kipusa kwenye balcony3. You use your child as an excuse
Some will device traps using the child as bait. They will use the child they have together with their ex as a bridge to their ex.

family car2. Your ex still turns you on
Do you still fantasize about your ex? You can’t stand looking your ex in the eye because you will melt? You will want to steal a kiss? Rip your ex’s clothes off? Live out your former explosive scenes? Is your ex still your definition of sexiness?

biro sketch1. You can’t attend your ex’s wedding
Would you turn down an invite to your ex’s wedding? Pretending to be busy? Do you refuse to go because you object to the marriage?…You know you will stand up when the officiator asks “Is is there anyone with any reason why these two should not wed?”

tania


 

To read more of Dayan Masinde’s writing on love, you may purchase “WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE”- poetry book by Dayan Masinde on Amazon. Click on this link for direction http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JVUQAPY

WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE 2

Advertisements

SHE’S MORE OF A MAN, LESS OF A WOMAN

No, she’s not the butch in a lesbian’s relationship
She is straight
She grew up wearing dresses, playing with dolls
Had crushes with boys, fell in love with a man

She was a princess, but before she turned into a queen
She was forced to be manly
In a world that tells her
“Act like a lady, think like a man”

But if she thinks like a man
Who will think womanly things?
Aren’t the feminine thoughts important?
Was it a mistake to create her a woman?

The men in her life failed her
Her alcoholic, abusive father rejected her
Her cousin raped her, her male boss harrased her
Every man sees her as a sex object up for grab

Where was a man when she needed a father figure?
Where was a man to protect her from an unfair world?
Where is the man she thought loved her?
Where is he, the one who impregnated her?

A single mother, an absent father to her child
She’s pushed to become mum and dad
Where are the so called heads of the family?
Will the real men please stand up?

Will the real men please stand up?
Take your rightful space in society
Use your strength not to beat or dominate
But to shield a woman from the monster a man can be

Will the real men please stand up?
Be the man who refuses to sleep with the prostitute
Because that prostitute needs to meet a different man
A man who’ll say “Your body is not for sale, you’re better than this”

Will the real men please stand up?
Will you stop being heartbreaking boys?
Stop thinking with what is between your legs
Start shaping the world with what is between your ears?

Woman be woman, let man play his role
They say what a man can do
A woman can do better
But it’s best when he and she do it together

BY DAYAN MASINDE

binti afrique


 

To read more of Dayan Masinde’s writing on love, you may purchase “WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE”- poetry book by Dayan Masinde on Amazon. Click on this link for direction http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JVUQAPY

10 THOUGHTS PEOPLE HAVE AFTER SEX

10. “What if I get pregnant?”
After the trembling sweet O, harsh reality then sinks in. The two bodies cool after a steamy encounter. Perhaps the condom broke, perhaps no condom was used. She sees herself pregnant and gets scared. Again the morning after pill is about to be searched for. She’s not ready to be a mother; he is not ready to be a father. To make it worse, they don’t know each other well, they are not even a couple, and they are not married. Maybe soon comes abortion, next comes an emotional scar. Why are you playing with sex?

the mother of my child9. “Oh my goodness Sweerie that was amazing!”
This is the best feeling, the best thought. When he looks at his wife and kisses her, when she looks at him and feels loved. This is the height of intimacy. The moment where “I love you” gets its deepest meaning.

autograph on my heart8. “I hate myself”
This is the thought of those selling their bodies, the thought of the one who has just cheated on their partner with another, the thought of the one who is breaking a marriage, the one who feels cheap, used and dirty. Sex is a gift from God, but if you abuse it, guilt will follow you, sex will cause you pain. Sex will be a high you run to that leaves you low, and to cope with that low some run to sex again and the cycle continues. So many hide behind fake smiles, praising the wonderful sex they are having in affairs or with multiple partners but deep inside they are empty. Stop ruining the beauty of sex for yourself.

roar dayan7. “I hate faking a climax”
Only a woman can do this, a man cannot fake his climax since for him there must be a white larva explosion as evidence. Many wives are frustrated in bed, women who feel their man only cares about himself. So she fakes it to end her misery quickly as he feels he is a conqueror. If you are not a virgin, the worst part is when you think “This is not the best I have had”, comparing your current sexual experience with that of a mind-blowing one you had with an old flame.

she's missing her king6. “I hope I’ll get pregnant this time”
This is a deep cry of a couple that has been trying to get pregnant but in vain. Pressure is more on the woman to get a baby and often when the pressure is too much it ruins the chances of her getting a baby. Her husband should keep her feeling relaxed and wanted, loved with or without a baby.

feed the baby dear, i shall feed you5. Are you up for another round?
This is for the hot couple, the lovers driving each other wonderfully crazy. A woman can go for many back to back rounds but the man might take some few minutes, in those minutes, keep it steamy, explore.

the night of our honeymoon4. “I hope I was good enough”
One of the biggest insecurities lie in our performance in bed. The stakes are so high in a world where a man wants a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed, men openly drool over blue movie stars, and women with big behinds and boobs; in a world where women show excitement over men who are sex-symbols, so much music going on of men praising how great they are in bed, plus all the ridicule and stereotyping surrounding the size of a man’s tool. It comforts the heart when your spouse tells you “You did me so well!” and it’s believable. If you expect your spouse to be faithful, then your natural desire is that your spouse finds your sex amazing.

autograph on my heart3. “I miss making love”
This is a tragic thought, when sex with your spouse is just that- sex, no love. The warmth is gone, no intimacy, just two horny bodies, a partner who demands your sex, you give it and then the partner walks away like you were some form of a sex slave. Whether you will have a quickie, rough sex or slow and passionate sessions, your spouse must feel loved. After the release, hold each other, have a heart to heart conversation, kiss.

planting kisses2. “I wonder what your HIV status is”
Worry creeps in when you begin to think you might have just opened a door to your life that will harm you. When you know very well the person you have just been with is unfaithful, and chances are, has been getting some sugar from other quarters.

kissing my way to my wife's twin grapes1. “Sex was great but we still have issues to resolve”
Never use sex to blanket your issues as a couple. Sex is not the best way of measuring a good relationship; it’s possible to have explosive sex even with someone who hurts you. Do calm down after the high and talk about your issues. Make up sex is good, but only when actual making up occurs and matters are addressed.

LET'S GET IT ON!!!


 

To read more of Dayan Masinde’s writing on love, you may purchase “WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE”- poetry book by Dayan Masinde on Amazon. Click on this link for direction http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JVUQAPY

WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE 2

10 PEOPLE YOU SHOULD MEET BEFORE YOU FIND YOUR TRUE LOVER

10. Your first crush, your first love
We often hope the first person our hearts fall in love with would be our true lover, but often, the first person we have a crush on and grow to love is the one who opens us up. He/she is the one who gives us courage to trust someone, to love someone, that person introduces us to love. The first heartbreak is often the most painful because love was a foreign experience and breaking up also a foreign experience. But this is an opportunity for our heart to gain muscle, strength and maturity.

m'hoyah moh9. The pursuants
These are the people who pursue us, the secret admirers and the vocal people who woo us, the people who ask for your number, ask you out on a date, try to flirt with you, stare at you when you walk yet you know nothing can go on between you and any one of them. We all need to feel wanted, chased after and desired. This people come to our life to show us we have something admirable that people see and crave for. So lady, if men are ogling at you just because of your boobs, ass, eyes, fame or wealth; men, if women are drooling over you just because of your abs, eyes, smile, riches or physique, don’t worry, they belong in this category. Don’t let this people get to your head and fill you with pride, don’t be foolish to be distracted by them.

i will love you no matter what8. The heartbreaker
This is the person or people who will break your heart and crush you. The person/ people who will betray you, cheat on you, beat you, reject you, abandon you, insult you, lie to you and do things a true lover would never do. This is a test, a test to teach you what you shouldn’t do to your true lover when you meet, a test to see how strong you are, a test to show you what love is not so that you know what love is when true love finally comes along. This person/ people will leave you with a scar/s to heal. Love doesn’t hurt people, people hurt people. If someone damaged you, it’s not because love is wrong, but your choice was wrong.

binti afrique7. The model father, model mother
In a world where many parents have failed their children, you need a model father and a model mother to be your benchmark of who a good parent and spouse is, whether this parent is your own or not. So your father was never there or failed you as a child, lady you need a model father figure you can admire; man you need a model father figure to inspire you. Whether or not your mother was around or good to you, lady you need a model mother to emulate; man you need a model mother to teach you who a woman really is. There is a lot of bashing of the sexes going on in this generation because of childhood pain. If you take that pain and bundle of stereotypes into your relationship it will be the lenses that you view your true lover through, leading to conflict and misunderstandings.

family car6. The naysayers
These are the people who have given up on love, people who will talk down on love. They will discourage you from believing in love. You will look at their life and see how messed up their love life is- failed marriages, divorces, drama and emotional damage. They are the people who call on radio and TV and advertise how marriages are failing. They will come to test you, will your faith in love emerge strong or will it be extinguished and you join the club of the ones who have given up on love?

sitting on top of the world5. The one you cannot have
This is the person who will have all the right qualities but you two cannot be a couple. Either because they are not ready for a relationship, you are not ready for a relationship, they are already taken, they are too far and long-distance relationship cannot work, age difference, are of a different religion, strains between your family and their family, or things just don’t seem to work out. This person comes to make you believe true love is possible, that there are still good men/ women in this world.

39

 

4. God
You need to meet God, the one who created you, the one who will guide you. God is the one who has kept your true lover in a safe place, God is the key. First have a good relationship with God, and then seek to have a good relationship with a human lover. If you want a love made in Heaven, you must involve the one who abodes in Heaven.

189601_1937924407777_4560307_n3. Yourself
There is nothing as difficult and risky as loving someone who doesn’t know who they are. That kind of person is unstable, easily swayed, they lack values and principles. Before you find your true lover, find yourself first. Know who you are. Let your true lover not find you disorganised and a mess. Finding yourself will make you attractive and it will inform you of what kind of a lover you need. How can you find if you don’t know what you’re looking for?

592. The true friend
Life is not just about romance and all things sexual. You need a true friend whether of the same or opposite sex. Someone you can count on, someone to look out for you. This true friend will either turn out to be your true lover in disguise or will be the one who escorts you to your true lover and be the greatest support of the true love you will find.

inspekat mwala1. The tempter
This is the person you lust after, either sexually or emotionally but you shouldn’t. This is the married person who wants an affair with you, or the person in a relationship who melts your heart. The wrong one. The line you shouldn’t cross. This person looks appealing but you know it’s dangerous. This person comes to weigh your character and the substance you are made of. If you are strong, you will avoid; but in case you have already fallen for their trap you can get out, it’s not too late. If you can handle this person maturely, you will handle your true lover/ your marriage well. This is the ultimate test of faithfulness. If you can be faithful when you are single, you can be faithful when in a relationship/ married. If you can respect someone else’s marriage/ relationship, you will respect your own.

autograph on my heart


 

To read more of Dayan Masinde’s writing on love, you may purchase “WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE”- poetry book by Dayan Masinde on Amazon. Click on this link for direction http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JVUQAPY

WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE 2