10. You run away
Are you avoiding your ex at all cost? Does hearing your ex’s name gives you a kick? Are you drowning yourself in alcohol, jumping from one club to another pretending to be having fun as a way of moving on? You haven’t truly moved on until you can look back at your past and your past doesn’t move you. You should bump into your ex in the streets and feel nothing- say hi and move on with your life instead of reminiscing. Running away is a sign of denial.

619. You compare your new lover with your ex
Do you find yourself measuring your current lover with your ex? Those are clear signs of you missing your past. Move on or go back, make up your mind.

sweerie don't look behind, but i think they are talking about us8. You become a stalker
A private eye you have become. Obsessed with tracking your ex’s movements, what your ex posts on Facebook and social media, questioning if your ex is happy without you?

john wesley7. You keep recalling the past
Do you find yourself going through the old messages your ex sent you? Staring at your old pictures together? You still have that box safely hidden with the special gifts your ex gave you? Do you find yourself fighting the desire to pick up the phone to call your ex? Wondering how you two would have been if you remained a couple?


6. You are jealous
Do you feel a bad taste in your mouth when you see or hear your ex with someone? Do you compare your ex’s current lover with yourself, of course saying how pathetic your ex’s new lover is unlike you? Are you planning on destroying your ex’s new relationship?

she's missing her king5. You bad mouth your ex
Some will do everything to ruin the reputation of their ex. They will unveil all the ex’s dirty secrets to the world, make up false stories, exaggerate the ex’s flaw to ruin the ex’s reputation before the public. These are the type who will post private photos and videos of the ex online. You have not moved on if you have not forgiven.

inspekat mwala

4. You move on too quickly
Some will jump into a new relationship, get married quickly, use a new lover as a desperate attempt to forget their ex. They will force themselves on someone new, force love. Rushing because they want to go into a new relationship before the ex does too; thinking that it will be tragic to remain single yet the ex finds someone new, gets married and starts a family. In the end, they hurt, their victim of a lover hurts and their forced relationship sucks. Do you find yourself wanting to show your ex how happy you are without him/ her? Go into a new relationship because you are truly in love, not to get back at your ex or to bandage your true suppressed feelings. That is unfair to your new lover. Give yourself time to heal.

kipusa kwenye balcony3. You use your child as an excuse
Some will device traps using the child as bait. They will use the child they have together with their ex as a bridge to their ex.

family car2. Your ex still turns you on
Do you still fantasize about your ex? You can’t stand looking your ex in the eye because you will melt? You will want to steal a kiss? Rip your ex’s clothes off? Live out your former explosive scenes? Is your ex still your definition of sexiness?

biro sketch1. You can’t attend your ex’s wedding
Would you turn down an invite to your ex’s wedding? Pretending to be busy? Do you refuse to go because you object to the marriage?…You know you will stand up when the officiator asks “Is is there anyone with any reason why these two should not wed?”



To read more of Dayan Masinde’s writing on love, you may purchase “WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE”- poetry book by Dayan Masinde on Amazon. Click on this link for direction http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JVUQAPY




10. God doesn’t need a lawyer
God doesn’t need defense. God is not insecure. God is not at the mercy of our belief. God is God whether we believe or not. Human beings have the tendency to steal each others inventions, only the penalty of the law and the demand for ethics keeps us in check; hence it is easy for us to deny God the honor of Creator. Yet the mystery and splendor of God surrounds us: all of creation, our intricate design, our intangible spirit, the desire for love, the limitations of our ability, our delicate breath. We may boast of science and knowledge, yet research is just an exploration of God’s work, we still don’t know everything. We design cars aping God’s creation, we design the computer aping the human brain, and we hunger for excellence, perfection because we have a longing for wholeness, completion, the best, purity- God.

serene dayan
9. Arguing pushes away, loving attracts
Arguing pushes people away, arguing will pit us against each other, puts the protagonists on an offensive and defensive mode which takes us out of love. Love is what a believer should do; God should be seen through the believer.

the prayerful couple
8. You can’t explain experience.
Experience is not inherited. A believer cannot explain their walk with God to someone who has never walked with God. It’s like a husband trying to explain to his friends how sweet his wife kisses him. The non-believer may not understand when a believer speaks of how God healed him, how God transformed her, how God speaks, how God has forgiven, how much peace they have. A believer shouldn’t be mad when a non-believer doesn’t get it YET.

7. Believers are peacemakers
Believers don’t go looking for fights, quarrels, squabbles and debates. Live out your life to God before the world, share about God peacefully when you can. Don’t shove God down someone’s throat. Don’t judge someone and elevate yourself to a “holier than thou” state just because someone hasn’t believed YET or their walk with God is not as fast or as fruitful as yours.


6. We don’t find God, God finds us
We all have our Damascus Road, that point where we encounter God and are faced with a personal choice to make. God finds us. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me, I once was lost but now I am found.

mural 6
5. It’s a dead end when one doesn’t acknowledge sin
Interesting how we as a society legislate laws, we define crime, and we punish criminals with fines and jail time yet refuse to acknowledge our individual human sin. Sin when we cheat, sin when we wish someone wrong, sin when we insult, sin when we are jealous, sin when we fall short of this excellence and perfection that we strive to have. It is difficult for someone to see they need God when they don’t accept their shortcomings and inadequacies. None is perfect.

4. Human intellect alone is not enough
The two protagonists will argue on uneven grounds. One will argue on human intellect and facts alone, whilst the believer’s human intellect reasons linked to the spirit that has been made alive with God. The believer uses facts accompanied by faith knowing there are things beyond human understanding for now. Believers don’t just rely on the written word; their spirit is connected with God everyday, transforming them by the renewal of their mind. Head knowledge is not enough. Head knowledge is what made people of the past say everything revolves around the earth, but Galileo knew there was more to the earth than what was then accepted. More out there in space than humans had fathomed.

ellen johnson sirleaf
3. Labels divide us. It’s not us against them
We live in a world that loves to give labels- labels in terms of race, labels in terms of wealth- first world and third world, labels in terms of ideology- east versus west, communism versus capitalism. Labels only divide us; they cloud us and put us on attacking and comparison mode against the antagonizing label on the “other side”. But love teaches us, love opens our eyes, love respects your belief or lack of belief. It should never be seen as “us against them”

2. Doubt is part of the search
Everyone has a right to search for their creator, questions consume each individual. The same way an orphan longs to trace their origin. The same way people brought up by single mothers wonder who is their absent father. God is not absent. Doubting is the first key part in soul searching. Each spirit must wrestle with God, question. God seeks not blind following but a faith tried and tested, a human spirit freely giving itself to the Holy Spirit.

sweerie don't look behind, but i think they are talking about us


1. A believer was once an atheist
Many argue that faith is taught. That God is a figment of imagination, a mere story handed down through generations, a good tale that the weak cling to. But if you knew something good, why keep it from others? We have preserved the mathematical knowledge spread by the Arabs, the democracy started by the Greeks, the martial arts started in Asia; what is wrong with preserving and handing down the goodness and majesty of God and the testimonies? None of us was born knowing that fire can burn, but we were taught that fire is dangerous. When we ventured to explore, we felt the heat of the fire, we acknowledged what we were told was true. Same thing, people can tell you about God, but as an individual, one must graduate from knowing about God to knowing God, a personal relationship with God.

feed the baby dear, i shall feed you


To read more of Dayan Masinde’s writing on love, you may purchase “WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE”- poetry book by Dayan Masinde on Amazon. Click on this link for direction http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JVUQAPY