10. Your first crush, your first love
We often hope the first person our hearts fall in love with would be our true lover, but often, the first person we have a crush on and grow to love is the one who opens us up. He/she is the one who gives us courage to trust someone, to love someone, that person introduces us to love. The first heartbreak is often the most painful because love was a foreign experience and breaking up also a foreign experience. But this is an opportunity for our heart to gain muscle, strength and maturity.
9. The pursuants
These are the people who pursue us, the secret admirers and the vocal people who woo us, the people who ask for your number, ask you out on a date, try to flirt with you, stare at you when you walk yet you know nothing can go on between you and any one of them. We all need to feel wanted, chased after and desired. This people come to our life to show us we have something admirable that people see and crave for. So lady, if men are ogling at you just because of your boobs, ass, eyes, fame or wealth; men, if women are drooling over you just because of your abs, eyes, smile, riches or physique, don’t worry, they belong in this category. Don’t let this people get to your head and fill you with pride, don’t be foolish to be distracted by them.
8. The heartbreaker
This is the person or people who will break your heart and crush you. The person/ people who will betray you, cheat on you, beat you, reject you, abandon you, insult you, lie to you and do things a true lover would never do. This is a test, a test to teach you what you shouldn’t do to your true lover when you meet, a test to see how strong you are, a test to show you what love is not so that you know what love is when true love finally comes along. This person/ people will leave you with a scar/s to heal. Love doesn’t hurt people, people hurt people. If someone damaged you, it’s not because love is wrong, but your choice was wrong.
7. The model father, model mother
In a world where many parents have failed their children, you need a model father and a model mother to be your benchmark of who a good parent and spouse is, whether this parent is your own or not. So your father was never there or failed you as a child, lady you need a model father figure you can admire; man you need a model father figure to inspire you. Whether or not your mother was around or good to you, lady you need a model mother to emulate; man you need a model mother to teach you who a woman really is. There is a lot of bashing of the sexes going on in this generation because of childhood pain. If you take that pain and bundle of stereotypes into your relationship it will be the lenses that you view your true lover through, leading to conflict and misunderstandings.
6. The naysayers
These are the people who have given up on love, people who will talk down on love. They will discourage you from believing in love. You will look at their life and see how messed up their love life is- failed marriages, divorces, drama and emotional damage. They are the people who call on radio and TV and advertise how marriages are failing. They will come to test you, will your faith in love emerge strong or will it be extinguished and you join the club of the ones who have given up on love?
5. The one you cannot have
This is the person who will have all the right qualities but you two cannot be a couple. Either because they are not ready for a relationship, you are not ready for a relationship, they are already taken, they are too far and long-distance relationship cannot work, age difference, are of a different religion, strains between your family and their family, or things just don’t seem to work out. This person comes to make you believe true love is possible, that there are still good men/ women in this world.
You need to meet God, the one who created you, the one who will guide you. God is the one who has kept your true lover in a safe place, God is the key. First have a good relationship with God, and then seek to have a good relationship with a human lover. If you want a love made in Heaven, you must involve the one who abodes in Heaven.
There is nothing as difficult and risky as loving someone who doesn’t know who they are. That kind of person is unstable, easily swayed, they lack values and principles. Before you find your true lover, find yourself first. Know who you are. Let your true lover not find you disorganised and a mess. Finding yourself will make you attractive and it will inform you of what kind of a lover you need. How can you find if you don’t know what you’re looking for?
2. The true friend
Life is not just about romance and all things sexual. You need a true friend whether of the same or opposite sex. Someone you can count on, someone to look out for you. This true friend will either turn out to be your true lover in disguise or will be the one who escorts you to your true lover and be the greatest support of the true love you will find.
1. The tempter
This is the person you lust after, either sexually or emotionally but you shouldn’t. This is the married person who wants an affair with you, or the person in a relationship who melts your heart. The wrong one. The line you shouldn’t cross. This person looks appealing but you know it’s dangerous. This person comes to weigh your character and the substance you are made of. If you are strong, you will avoid; but in case you have already fallen for their trap you can get out, it’s not too late. If you can handle this person maturely, you will handle your true lover/ your marriage well. This is the ultimate test of faithfulness. If you can be faithful when you are single, you can be faithful when in a relationship/ married. If you can respect someone else’s marriage/ relationship, you will respect your own.
To read more of Dayan Masinde’s writing on love, you may purchase “WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE”- poetry book by Dayan Masinde on Amazon. Click on this link for direction http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JVUQAPY