10. When you lean on addiction
Do you turn to alcohol, sex, pornography, drugs when times are hard? Do you use an addiction to escape the reality of your life? Emotionally strong people don’t run away from the matter, they don’t hide it under the carpet; they confront it, building up a strong mind and heart, they pray, they lean on friends instead. Leaning on addiction doesn’t solve issues, in fact, you will keep leaning on the addiction to help you cope with the mess and emptiness the addiction brings you.
9. When you seek revenge
Did someone wrong you and you’re devoting your energy on getting back and settling scores? Do you find yourself scheming on how to come on top to prove a point? Emotionally unstable people want to succeed because they are insecure and want to prove a point, but mature and stable beings work to succeed out of purpose, doing the right thing. We live in a world that has glorified haters and sings about showing your hater some hate back. Soap operas and movies make revenge look glamorous, but in reality, only an insecure person will put effort in attacking back. It’s wise to be the bigger person. The world goes to wars when emotionally unstable people are in power.
8. When you use manipulation
“If you love me you will have sex with me”, how many have used that line? How many use threats to get things done? Do you threaten your lover, your work mates, your friends, your children, your employees to get things done? That is a sign of emotional instability; where you feel you must coerce someone because you have fallen short when it comes to attracting loyalty, faithfulness, a following or respect.
7. When you are easily swayed by others
Do you have a mind of your own? Or is your voice silenced by the noise of others? Is it easy for someone to confuse you? Emotionally unstable people desire to fit in, and they will do anything to gain acceptance. They are the type whose friends will tell them “Man you’re being too soft with your woman” then he becomes less loving to his woman. The type who are told “Woman you are ugly” and then she loses her self-esteem and becomes too self-conscious
6. When you are angry towards God
Are you rebelling against God because of a tragedy? Are you angry at God because things are not going your way? Mad at God because a loved one died? To emotionally grow is to realize that God is God whether you believe or not. Death will happen, death is beyond us; but life after death is in God’s hands. Instead of hating God because of the death of a loved one, why not thank God that you got to have life, you got to know that person and loved that person while they breathed. Life in itself is a gift, stop acting like you are entitled to it yet the very air you breathe you cannot manufacture. Instead of running away from God because things went wrong, run to God to be on the right side no matter how many times you hit a wall. We often focus too much on getting blessed and having prayers answered; yet God wants to make us a blessing, make us the answer to prayers. God wants more than giving you things, God wants to transform you.
5. When you make decisions based on feelings
“I don’t feel like going to work” then you quit your job. “I don’t feel I love you anymore” then you end a relationship. “I don’t feel understood” then you withdraw from your friends. “I don’t feel sexy” then you sleep around to bring sexy back. All those are feelings, feelings are amazing when they are good feelings, but bad feelings will also be there. Feelings are never constant. At times you are in high moods other times low. Don’t use feelings as a compass, be rational, objective, and let bad moods get swept away by good moods before you make hasty decisions based on bad feelings. Love is not a feeling, it is a decision, a responsibility; not every day will your lover make you feel wow, sexy or mushy.
3. When you air your problems to attract sympathy
This happens a lot on Facebook, social media and social gatherings. Some people love to parade their woes looking for attention. They will add tears to their eyes to get a longer hug, prolong their sickness to get more nursing, they will pretend all is not well or use the fact that they are not well to be remembered. It is OK to allow people to be there for you, but analyze yourself; do you feel people are not giving you much time and thought and so you display your problems to stay in the radar?
2. When you find it hard to forgive
It takes a strong heart to forgive. Keeping that bitterness in your heart only makes you emotionally imbalanced, you are the person carrying that unnecessary weight that is messing up your heart while the person you are not forgiving is busy living their life in joy and has moved on. Don’t wait for someone who has wronged you to come and ask for forgiveness, maybe they don’t even know they did you wrong. Don’t darken your heart just because someone hasn’t said “I am sorry!”
1. When you are afraid to love
Are you giving excuses why you cannot love? Do you run away when someone is getting close to the warmth of your heart? Have you hidden your heart because you are afraid if you love you might be heartbroken just like it happened in the past? History shouldn’t define you but enlighten you. It takes guts to be vulnerable to someone, to let a lover in; true love is for the brave!
To read more of Dayan Masinde’s thoughts on love, download for free “WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE”- poetry book by Dayan Masinde on http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JVUQAPY